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1. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life .".


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3. "No, you don't have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time." - Anonymous 4. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore." - Anonymous 5. "If karma doesn't hit you, I gladly will." 6.


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Neither one works. ~ Will Rogers. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. ~ Lorrie Moore. The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. ~ David Ogilvy. Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability. ~ George Bernard Shaw.


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"Action will destroy your procrastination." - Og Mandino funny witty quotes "Arguing with a fool proves there are two." - Doris M. Smith "Better a witty fool than a foolish wit." - William Shakespeare witty sarcastic quotes "Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs." - Oliver Goldsmith short witty quotes "Down to earth, but still above you."


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Sarcasm Sayings. "I don't keep secrets; I just keep people out of my business." ~ Anonymous. "Cancel my subscription because I don't need your issues." ~ Anonymous. "I clapped because it's finished, not because I like it." ~ Anonymous. "If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I'll be poor." ~ Anonymous.


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"You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed." "Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent." "If you want to change the world, do it while you're single. Once you're married you can't even change the TV Channel." "Mirrors can't talk, lucky for you they can't laugh either."


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Like perfectly timed funny quotes, a sarcastic comment can put someone rude in their place or help you make a self-deprecating joke (think: tripping over your shoelace and saying "Smooth.


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Sarcasm is defined to be the use of irony to convey your contempt or dislike of something. Plainly speaking, it's saying the opposite of what you want to say to mock something, insult someone, or even just be funny. Sarcastic people usually have sharp minds that can tweak even the simplest words into the snidest or mocking comment.


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"If you want to call a family meeting - turn off the WiFi and sit in the room where it is located." - Anonymous. "Knowing your family so well that you can make out who's coming by the sound of their footsteps." - Anonymous. "In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television." - Erma Bombeck.


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What is life without a little humor? Let's be honest. Not all motivational quotes come from the greatest writers and the most inspirational books of all time. Sometimes, motivation can come from the mean, honest, and sarcastic remarks that also happen to be the funniest and most memorable ones.


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Witty Sarcastic Quotes "I'm definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it." "I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?" "Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!" "That is the ugliest top I've ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly." "Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!"


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Funny Sarcastic Quotes. 11. "Just keep talking, I yawn when I'm interested.". 12. "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.". - Oscar Wilde. 13. "Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.". - Walter Kerr.


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Sarcastic Quotes About Fake People. "Oh, please, keep telling me about your endless authenticity while you change your personality like outfits.". "Fake people should come with a warning label: 'Contents may include traces of sincerity.'". "Congratulations, you're a master of disguise. I almost didn't recognize your real self.


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#1 "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time." - Robin Williams Report 380 points POST Eilen Great guy with great quotes 68 View more comments #2 "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde Report 324 points


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The Best Funny Sarcastic Quotes And Sarcasm Sayings. Said by Oscar Wilde to be the highest form of intelligence but the lowest form of wit, the word sarcasm comes from the Greek and Latin for "to tear flesh". But, new research by Harvard, has found that sarcasm's bite is mostly benign. Start with the best good Funny Sarcastic Quotes!


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1. "Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life." 2. "Hahahahah" 3. "I am fluent in three languages… English, Sarcasm, and profanity." 4. "Zombies eat brains. You're safe." 5. "If my jokes offend you: 1. I'm sorry 2. It won't happen again 3. 1 &2 are both lies 4. You're a fool." 6.